Dear, Mr. President
Some of my favorite dumb people are those that blame the President for gas prices being so high. I suppose that the President could get in a time machine, go back a decade or so and plead with oil executives to spend more money exploring for oil and ask the leaders of oil producing nations to strengthen the rule of law and relax export taxes to create a more oil-business friendly environment in order to make it more attractive for oil companies to do business in their countries. While he's back in time he could also try and build a few oil refineries to increase refining capacity and ask car companies to reconsider the millions of gas-guzzling trucks and suv's they will build in the next ten years. Finally, he could fly over to China, India, and other developing nations and ask them to stop buying so many new cars and to stop building new factories, thus decreasing demand for oil.
Short of all this, the President has virtually NOTHING to do with current gas prices. That certainly does not stop all kinds of stupid people from blaming him, though. It is to these people that I dedicate a new series I am going to start where I write a letter to the President about something he has absolutely no control over. You're just going to have to take my word for it that I am actually sending these emails to the Whitehouse. Here is the first. (I suppose that I could be accused of wasting whomever's time it is that has to screen these. I guess I can't argue with that except to say that I think it will be an entertaining break from all of the hate mail I'm sure they receive.)
My Dearest President,
I recently drove from Seattle to Springfield, Missouri (don't ask). Along the way I made a couple of stops at Arby's. Personally, I think that Arby's is one of the finest fast food establishments around. (I particularly enjoy their french dip sandwiches) However, I really think that their "Pick five for $5.95" menu is designed to force individuals to pay for one more item than the average consumer needs. I mean, even when I'm really hungry (and I would imagine that my appetite is fairly typical) one drink, two sandwiches (typically both will be Arby's Melts, since I'm not a big fan of their Ham and Cheese) and a medium fry are plenty for me. I usually don't have room in my belly for one of the turnovers. Consequently, whatever I choose as the fifth item often goes uneaten. Sure, if I'm with other people I can usually unload it on someone else. But where does that leave me next time I'm driving across the country alone?
If you have a few minutes today, maybe you could give someone over at Arby's a call (Brian in Fort Collins, Colorado was particularly friendly). If they could also start a "Pick four for $4.94" menu, the world would really be a better place. And actually, as I am often eschewing soft drinks these days (to cut down on the liquid calories), a "Pick three for $3.93" menu would also be quite beneficial. Arby's will probably say that they don't have the space on their menus to make the additions, but they just need to get creative (maybe they could use some sort of hologram technology).
Mr. President, I greatly appreciate your help in this matter. I expect to walk into an Arby's soon and be able to pick 5, 4, or 3 at my leisure. Have a great rest of September. Tell Dick that Ryan says "Hey". Thanks,
Ryan Bleek
P. S. Could you also do something about gas prices?
Short of all this, the President has virtually NOTHING to do with current gas prices. That certainly does not stop all kinds of stupid people from blaming him, though. It is to these people that I dedicate a new series I am going to start where I write a letter to the President about something he has absolutely no control over. You're just going to have to take my word for it that I am actually sending these emails to the Whitehouse. Here is the first. (I suppose that I could be accused of wasting whomever's time it is that has to screen these. I guess I can't argue with that except to say that I think it will be an entertaining break from all of the hate mail I'm sure they receive.)
My Dearest President,
I recently drove from Seattle to Springfield, Missouri (don't ask). Along the way I made a couple of stops at Arby's. Personally, I think that Arby's is one of the finest fast food establishments around. (I particularly enjoy their french dip sandwiches) However, I really think that their "Pick five for $5.95" menu is designed to force individuals to pay for one more item than the average consumer needs. I mean, even when I'm really hungry (and I would imagine that my appetite is fairly typical) one drink, two sandwiches (typically both will be Arby's Melts, since I'm not a big fan of their Ham and Cheese) and a medium fry are plenty for me. I usually don't have room in my belly for one of the turnovers. Consequently, whatever I choose as the fifth item often goes uneaten. Sure, if I'm with other people I can usually unload it on someone else. But where does that leave me next time I'm driving across the country alone?
If you have a few minutes today, maybe you could give someone over at Arby's a call (Brian in Fort Collins, Colorado was particularly friendly). If they could also start a "Pick four for $4.94" menu, the world would really be a better place. And actually, as I am often eschewing soft drinks these days (to cut down on the liquid calories), a "Pick three for $3.93" menu would also be quite beneficial. Arby's will probably say that they don't have the space on their menus to make the additions, but they just need to get creative (maybe they could use some sort of hologram technology).
Mr. President, I greatly appreciate your help in this matter. I expect to walk into an Arby's soon and be able to pick 5, 4, or 3 at my leisure. Have a great rest of September. Tell Dick that Ryan says "Hey". Thanks,
Ryan Bleek
P. S. Could you also do something about gas prices?
posted by DeityPhobia at 2:47 PM
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