On Holidays and Haircuts
I don’t understand holidays designated for honoring people, be it Martin Luther King Jr. day or President's day. I agree that Dr. King, George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln were all great men.(1) I'm just not sure how giving them their own day and taking said day off of work (for us lucky ones) honors them. I am not alone. Not even this nation's marketing gurus have figured it out for us. Surely the answer lies in buying some sort of consumer product. Until they provide that answer for me, I suppose I am left to my own devices to figure out how. So Monday I decided to honor MLK by not discriminating on the basis of color, and by refusing to give up my seat and sit in the back of my car. (2) My next challenge is going to be figuring out a way to honor Presidents Washington and Lincoln. Ideas are welcome.
I got my haircut a few days ago. It was an interesting experience. My hairdresser was a fiftyish woman who was, though plenty nice, also quite strange. Among the odd interactions were:
1. While washing my hair she noticed the bump on my head (3), and tried to subtly ask her co-worker to come over and feel my head. (As if I wouldn’t notice a woman walking over and touching my head). I thought it was quite brazen of her to be soliciting people to feel my bump. Then she told her co-worker that she wanted her to be able to vouch that I came in that way. “It’s a shame that in this day and age we have to prove we didn’t do something just so that people can’t sue us.” Indeed, weird lady.
2. She informed me that she was stranded at her house after the recent windstorm (for those of you who live outside the area, the power was out for several days in some parts), because she couldn’t figure out how to open her garage door without the electric opener.
3. After telling me that her boyfriend (sounded current) was a lawyer, she paused and then said, “I really hate him.” I kept waiting for the joke, and it did not come.
4. She seemed very intent on convincing me that “You should really get cable.”
5. One of the reasons that I should get cable is so that I can watch Forensic Files. She made it a point to assure me that she does not like this show because she wants to learn how to kill people.
6. Long after pleasantries were exchanged she suddenly told me “You are such an attractive man.” She returned to this theme later when she, again randomly, said, “Gosh you are so cute.” This comment was immediately followed by, “You could be my son, huh?” You’ll have to take my word for it when I say that she seemed to mean it in the sense of “You could be my son, so that would be so crazy if we hooked up.”
I'm not sure how I can possibly recognize the legitimacy of this feature on 80's movie villains when it does not include Ivan Drago of Rocky IV. In fact, I can't.
I'm pretty upset that my local Starbucks deprives me of this opportunity.
For those of you who follow American Idol (I do not), you might want to be aware of the opportunity to harass some of the contestants via their myspace pages.
I hope the rumor of a Magnum P.I. movie starring Matthew McConaughey is true. If he can make mustaches cool again then maybe my girlfriend will let me grow another one.
1. And yes, I still count them as great even though Martin Luther King, Jr. liked to sleep with white women who were not his wife, and GW owned slaves.
2. No one asked me to do this. I was seriously prepared to refuse.
3. I forget exactly what it's called, but my doctor is aware of it and he did not seem too concerned. Thanks for yours.
I got my haircut a few days ago. It was an interesting experience. My hairdresser was a fiftyish woman who was, though plenty nice, also quite strange. Among the odd interactions were:
1. While washing my hair she noticed the bump on my head (3), and tried to subtly ask her co-worker to come over and feel my head. (As if I wouldn’t notice a woman walking over and touching my head). I thought it was quite brazen of her to be soliciting people to feel my bump. Then she told her co-worker that she wanted her to be able to vouch that I came in that way. “It’s a shame that in this day and age we have to prove we didn’t do something just so that people can’t sue us.” Indeed, weird lady.
2. She informed me that she was stranded at her house after the recent windstorm (for those of you who live outside the area, the power was out for several days in some parts), because she couldn’t figure out how to open her garage door without the electric opener.
3. After telling me that her boyfriend (sounded current) was a lawyer, she paused and then said, “I really hate him.” I kept waiting for the joke, and it did not come.
4. She seemed very intent on convincing me that “You should really get cable.”
5. One of the reasons that I should get cable is so that I can watch Forensic Files. She made it a point to assure me that she does not like this show because she wants to learn how to kill people.
6. Long after pleasantries were exchanged she suddenly told me “You are such an attractive man.” She returned to this theme later when she, again randomly, said, “Gosh you are so cute.” This comment was immediately followed by, “You could be my son, huh?” You’ll have to take my word for it when I say that she seemed to mean it in the sense of “You could be my son, so that would be so crazy if we hooked up.”
I'm not sure how I can possibly recognize the legitimacy of this feature on 80's movie villains when it does not include Ivan Drago of Rocky IV. In fact, I can't.
I'm pretty upset that my local Starbucks deprives me of this opportunity.
For those of you who follow American Idol (I do not), you might want to be aware of the opportunity to harass some of the contestants via their myspace pages.
I hope the rumor of a Magnum P.I. movie starring Matthew McConaughey is true. If he can make mustaches cool again then maybe my girlfriend will let me grow another one.
1. And yes, I still count them as great even though Martin Luther King, Jr. liked to sleep with white women who were not his wife, and GW owned slaves.
2. No one asked me to do this. I was seriously prepared to refuse.
3. I forget exactly what it's called, but my doctor is aware of it and he did not seem too concerned. Thanks for yours.
posted by DeityPhobia at 6:03 PM
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