Hold the Line
The irony goblin viciously attacked my friend's truck on Saturday as he was graciously changing out an acquaintance's (just kidding Dan and Hollie- a friend's) radiator. Consequently, he was without a vehicle to get to work yesterday. We managed to strike up an agreement so that he would gain the use of my car for the day if he would try really hard for one week to not be incredibly attracted to other men. How is that going, Josh (1)?
Anyway, I say all of this to mention that I rode the bus to work yesterday, and something mildly odd happened as I waited. It just so happened that I was the first person in line (2) to board the bus. Except then I wasn't. A fifty-fiveish fella decided to stroll right up to the front of the line. I was confused, and I looked around to make sure I wasn't the only one who found this development to be quite strange. I saw that commuter number nine or ten had a perplexed scowl on his face.
Yet what was I really supposed to do? I considered pushing him in front of the bus when it arrived. But it was a little too cold for violence. And then the commuter gods smiled upon me. When the bus came it stopped just short of me, so that it was a little to my left while the cutter was to my right. Now, commuter etiquette (at least on Sound Transit and Community transit, I can't speak for those savages who ride King County) dictates that I should wait and let the first guy in line get on before me.
But you know what? We also have an American tradition of WAITING IN LINE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, MR. CUTTER! So I said, "Commuter etiquette be damned!" and I stepped in front of him to board the bus first. It was 5:58 in the morning. I was in no mood for a cutter.
But Notorious C-U-T-T-E-R was not deterred. He, rather aggressively considering his position, tried to get around me, and almost succeeded. We were, I kid you not, actually wedged side-by-side for a second in the bus doorway. But I was victorious. Yet I claim not that victory for myself. I dedicate it to the riders of ST 532, especially you, commuter 9 or 10. I hoped I turned your scowl into a smile.
You can say what you want about me, but don't say that I'm not a thinking man. I visited the DMV a couple weeks ago, and I wanted to do something a little different for my license picture. At first I thought I would do a sexy look (3), but then I realized that I would be wasting a chance to do something practical with my photo. If I ever make it onto a most-wanted list, the authorities are going to use my license pic to show the public. Wouldn't it be to my advantage to make myself look crazy? That day when my picture is played on the news, I want people telling themselves that if they see me, they're going to walk the other way.
Will Ferrell's new movie looks hilarious, but maybe that's just because I'm excited to see that Gob is in it.
I've always liked Ben Stein. He has some interesting points about the state of American capitalism.
1. Just kidding, he's mostly not gay.
2. Let me take this opportunity to remind you that love isn't always on time.
3. By "sexy look" I mean overtly and actively sexy. I am aware that my very face is a constant sexy look.
Anyway, I say all of this to mention that I rode the bus to work yesterday, and something mildly odd happened as I waited. It just so happened that I was the first person in line (2) to board the bus. Except then I wasn't. A fifty-fiveish fella decided to stroll right up to the front of the line. I was confused, and I looked around to make sure I wasn't the only one who found this development to be quite strange. I saw that commuter number nine or ten had a perplexed scowl on his face.
Yet what was I really supposed to do? I considered pushing him in front of the bus when it arrived. But it was a little too cold for violence. And then the commuter gods smiled upon me. When the bus came it stopped just short of me, so that it was a little to my left while the cutter was to my right. Now, commuter etiquette (at least on Sound Transit and Community transit, I can't speak for those savages who ride King County) dictates that I should wait and let the first guy in line get on before me.
But you know what? We also have an American tradition of WAITING IN LINE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, MR. CUTTER! So I said, "Commuter etiquette be damned!" and I stepped in front of him to board the bus first. It was 5:58 in the morning. I was in no mood for a cutter.
But Notorious C-U-T-T-E-R was not deterred. He, rather aggressively considering his position, tried to get around me, and almost succeeded. We were, I kid you not, actually wedged side-by-side for a second in the bus doorway. But I was victorious. Yet I claim not that victory for myself. I dedicate it to the riders of ST 532, especially you, commuter 9 or 10. I hoped I turned your scowl into a smile.
You can say what you want about me, but don't say that I'm not a thinking man. I visited the DMV a couple weeks ago, and I wanted to do something a little different for my license picture. At first I thought I would do a sexy look (3), but then I realized that I would be wasting a chance to do something practical with my photo. If I ever make it onto a most-wanted list, the authorities are going to use my license pic to show the public. Wouldn't it be to my advantage to make myself look crazy? That day when my picture is played on the news, I want people telling themselves that if they see me, they're going to walk the other way.
Will Ferrell's new movie looks hilarious, but maybe that's just because I'm excited to see that Gob is in it.
I've always liked Ben Stein. He has some interesting points about the state of American capitalism.
1. Just kidding, he's mostly not gay.
2. Let me take this opportunity to remind you that love isn't always on time.
3. By "sexy look" I mean overtly and actively sexy. I am aware that my very face is a constant sexy look.
posted by DeityPhobia at 5:16 PM
2 Comments:
strangly/sadly, i had no photos of you two.
um, so i noticed that you guys haven't blogged about me at all...
kind of disappointed at first ... but i'm over it, i guess.
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